I know its been awhile!!!

It has been quite some time since I have blogged. But I have been so busy lately that Im lucky if I remember to breathe really. Our house is doing OK although it pretty much looks the same. Getting through the process is S L O W going for sure, but I think it will all work out in the end. Our insurance guy came pretty quickly to inspect it, and sent us the check, but since our mortgage company technically owns our home still we have to send it to them and jump through a few more hoops. It would be nice to have it all done, but liveable is good enough for me right now.
Ashlyn started back to school, and Jayden although hes still shy every morning, comes home very happy. You would think with the two of them gone I would have plenty of time, but truth be told, I spend most of my time holding Ty. Some days I cant wait until hes older so he'll be taking naps in his own room, but mostly I just cherish the time I get to hold him while he sleeps. Josh has been super busy with work and school, same old story there, and time just keeps ticking by.
There are some fun me moments though, volleyball Friday nights, and last night we got to go out to dinner with a couple of Joshs friends from high school and their other halfs, we ate los cucos and marble slab...(shhh dont tell my diet people) and had a lot of fun.






Heres another one of the things that has kept me busy this week. Rylan tripped on the landing of our stairs and hit his head on the base board while Josh was at the fire station. I was trying to hold something on his head and make arrangements to get him to the hospital while someone watched my other kids, and it was bleeding everywhere. But I was surprised when the blood stopped so soon after, until Ashlyn told me she said a prayer for him that it would stop bleeding. That was a sweet mommy moment, knowing that my little girl had enough faith in a moment like that, but I truly believe He answers little kid prayers the soonest. Josh made it home from the station and took him to the ER. It was very deep and needed stitches, but since he wouldnt hold still they glued him up instead. Then the next day he peeled some of the glue off and it started to open again, but instead of taking him back to the ER we bought some liquid bandages and put steri stripes and a band aid on. Still somehow he managed to get most of it off again. But hes doing OK now. Right after he hit it, once it stopped bleeding, he was ready to play. The only thing I could do was keep him in the kitchen eating pudding. And in the ER he was trying to climb on chairs. Everyone was laughing and said "now we know how he got that!" Since Josh was still in his uniform they got him in quicker, and was home not long after that, and then insted of being up all night on the ambulance he was able to get a good nights sleep. Sometimes its interesting to see the way things subtly fall into place, and to watch the Lords hand in our lives, to have simple blessings even in the midst of trials. Thats the theme in my life right now. Now I know what people mean when they say they are greatful for their trials.



Jayden went to a Pirate birthday party, and loved these fake teeth. TOO FUNNY!


Tys getting big enough to play sometimes. Heres Rylan playing music for him and dancing.




I love this picture. Rylan looks so serious walking somewhere!

So Sweet!

BIG SMILES!

WE DID'NT LIKE HURRICANE IKE

Category 2 hurricane Ike hit us and damaged our house. Marie and the kids evacuated to Dallas during the storm to stay out of the way of any danger. It could have been worse as it was with others and its a good thing we have insurance.

tarps on our roof from the back yard

our new carpet that we installed 2 months ago is ruined

Thanks Scott and Mike for the help

Thanks Terry for all the help

Our fence didn't make it either

We are going to have blue roof for a while

Ashlyn and Jayden are using the fence as a trampoline.

A True Confession

So this will probably be the most honest, intimate and embarassing post you will ever read of mine but I have to write it. I have been struggling with the way things were going and it was obvious in my personality and in my blog posts. I have a HORRIBLE habit that when people ask me how I am I honeslty answer. You will never hear me say Im doing fine if Im not. So for the past few weeks you all have probably gotten more than an earful of my honest feelings on how life is going for me. And for that I am sorry to you but even more sorry to my family especially Ty.
Today during one of my breakdown moments I started reading a book my Dad gave me and in it it talks about how verbal expressions sent out into the universe truly affect the way people think act and feel. And what I realized is I started allowing the things people were saying to affect my thoughts. Things like 4 will be so hard, and your crazy or your brave or just the way they react when you say you have four kids. It was stressing me out that everyday I had to take care of all these kids by myself, and when I missed out on a little sleep it would affect the way I felt the whole next day, and listening to Ty cry over upset stomachs, or whatever, that it affected me as well, and then I would verbally tell people how hard life is and how bad of a baby Ty was, so I sent those horrible vibes out in the universe and couldnt figure out why poor Ty wasnt acting any better. How could he when he was constantly hearing me tell people how hard an difficult he was. I felt like such a bad mom because I couldnt figure out how to help him, and every cry reconfirmed that no matter what I did it wasnt enough. How silly is that? Now what I realize was that it wasnt him crying that made me a bad mom is was the way I was dealing with it, thinking about it and worse of all talking about it. I totally believe that even if they cant tell you, that they know what your saying. So I appologize, in all reality he really is such a good baby. And considering all his little body has gone through, with such a stressful way of coming into this earth, then all his allergies, and reflux and me switching from nursing to bottle feeding, he has handled it so well and has really been so good. Hes a normal baby, and its my fault for allowing my own and other peoples thoughts to affect my expectations on how this should be going. Sometimes I think my theory on life is if I complain it makes other people think that their life is good, and shows them Im human and relatable, but when it comes to this is I was so wrong, I have the life I wanted. I wanted lots of kids, and I love being busy with them. I cant imagine how heartbroken I will be when these few short years are over. This is the life I chose and the life I want. As hard as it is I LOVE IT and wouldnt change a moment.

Anyways, I had to put that out into the universe, and dont be surprised if this post suddenly disappears.

Updates

Well its been awhile since I blogged, mostly because nothing was exciting to tell, and I couldnt stand looking at my ugly blog anymore. I have a feeling most of you felt the same way since it seems that there are less of you looking, or commenting one or the other. But look much better now huh? Thanks to my friend Nat. Jayden starts school this week. Hes ready. Ashlyn is loving school, pick up and drop off is much better, but I still have to fight back tears everyday when I drop her off. Shes just so little but she walks in there as if she isnt. Shes so proud of all that she has figured out, like her pin to buy lunch, where her class is, and how it all works now. Ive lost 13 pounds on my diet, its been 4 weeks, so 25 more to go in 8 weeks. Wish me luck!! But Im almost half way there. Its volleyball season again which I love but for those of you around here, I will say, I actually miss Jerry. Last week was so bad because there were no rules, and it was way less fun. But lets hope they get someone in there soon.






He looks different now huh? Bigger rounder head. SOO CUTE!
Surrounded by BOYS!!! We started a playgroup for Jay on his day off from school
to keep him busy, with them and Rylan and Ty I had 7 boys with me. What I noticed
was different than when I had Ashlyns girl group with the same number girls was
it was a LOT quieter, because they were not constantly chatting, but a LOT more physical.
They were So good though.